How to Interview Relatives for Family History

Why Interviews Matter More Than Documents

Official records tell you when someone was born and when they died. But they don't tell you what that person was like. What made them laugh. What they were afraid of. Why they moved across the country. What they wanted for their children.

Only people can tell you those things. And the people who knew your ancestors best — your older relatives — won't be around forever.

An afternoon spent interviewing a grandparent is worth more than a month in an archive.

Before the Interview

Don't show up unprepared. A few things that help:

Write down 10-15 questions in advance, but be ready to abandon them if the conversation goes somewhere interesting. The best stories come from follow-up questions, not from your list.

Bring a way to record — your phone is fine. Ask permission first. If they say no, take written notes instead.

Bring any photos or documents you've already collected. Old photographs are incredible conversation starters. "Do you know who this is?" can unlock an hour of stories.

Questions That Actually Work

Skip the interrogation-style questions ("When was grandma born?"). Instead, ask open-ended questions that invite stories:

The last question is powerful. It reminds them that this conversation is exactly the kind of thing they wish they'd had with their own elders.

During the Interview

Let them talk. Resist the urge to correct or redirect. If they go off on a tangent about something seemingly unrelated, let it play out — those tangents often contain the best material.

Ask follow-up questions: "What happened next?" "How did that make you feel?" "Do you remember any specific details?"

Don't worry about chronological order. You can sort that out later.

After the Interview

Within 24 hours, write up your notes while the conversation is fresh. Note things that surprised you, contradicted what you thought you knew, or opened new questions.

Add the key facts to your family tree. Attach the recording or transcript to the relevant person.

Then call another relative. Every person remembers different things. The more perspectives you collect, the richer and more accurate your family story becomes.

The Conversation Is the Point

Don't think of this as data collection. Think of it as spending time with someone you love, talking about the people and places that shaped your family. The family tree is just the excuse. The real gift is the conversation itself.